Beauty Standards...

Since the beginning of human history, there have always been standards of beauty. Whether it was having a plump figure, or “heroine chic”, or even a stretched neck, every society, every culture, every region has one. In our current Kali Yuga paradigm, we fight, claw, suck, and kill our way to being on top of the beauty hierarchy. Did I mention that we were doing all of this to our own bodies and not other people? The most popular form of plastic surgery, the Brazilian Butt Lift, or “BBL”, is also the deadliest. There are numerous reports of breast implants leaking, and wreaking havoc on the health of unsuspecting women. But why are we doing all of this? Most women I see with these surgeries are everyday women. Sure, some make a living off of their looks but most are working regular jobs and dating the same mediocre men that the rest of you are. So like…what is even the point?

I am not the beauty standard.

I live in the good ol’ US, of A. However, I am not a blonde haired, blue eyed, 5’10, 115 lb. woman. I’m very short and very curvy/muscular. Even further than that, within my own ethnicity I am not the beauty standard. I’m dark skinned, with nappy hair, and a wide nose. But guess what? There is not a damn thing anyone can tell me about my beauty. I’m sure there are people who do not find me attractive (odd choice but whatever), and I’m sure there are people (with eyes) who find me very attractive. Either way, when I look in the mirror, I am ecstatic at what I see. This isn’t to say that there are things I don’t want to change about myself. I have about 15 lbs. I want to lose and I want to be more muscular. These are things that I can fix, even if it takes work, but fundamentally I do not want to change anything that was given to me by the goddess.

Because beauty is subjective.

We all know the phrase ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ but what does that really mean? Well, everyone on My 600 lb. Life usually has a partner. So no matter what you look like, or what you think you look like, there is someone who will find you attractive. Also beauty means nothing. Anything can be beautiful. Giraffes are beautiful, newborn babies are beautiful, clouds, sunsets, and even bugs are beautiful. Not to sound after-school special-ish but it’s simply the truth. Also as culture changes, so do the beauty standards. We see this in the vast range of what is considered beautiful around the world. In some societies in Africa, short women with very large butts and sagging breasts are the pinnacle of beauty, while in East Asia typically being super pale and weighing less than one hundred lbs. is the ticket (slight exaggeration). Even when you look at the changes of what was considered beautiful in western societies, things are forever changing, and forever changing very rapidly. You see this through the renaissance paintings of fuller figured women. In the late 1800s-early 1900s, bustles and corsets gave the illusion of an impossibly tiny waist. The roaring twenties we saw a more androgynous look with cropped hair, drop waists, and a boyish figure. These changes continued onto the 90’s heroine chic, and persist today with the Kardashian-esque body shape and unrealistic plastic surgeries. And even though beauty is subjective…

looks do matter.

As mentioned in other blogs, anywhere I go, I am usually the most dressed up person. I remember one time I walked into a relatively high end store, looking for a Christmas gift for my husband. I walked in with I think two other women. They were wearing leggings, or some sort of athleisure and sneakers. I was wearing a relatively simple dress by my standards and a low heel. If you know me, you know I wear heels practically everywhere besides the gym. The sales associates at the front of the store rushed to me, and kind of ignored the other ladies. This isn’t a personal audit of their looks, these women were the typical American beauty standard, especially in the area I am in. I tell this story not so much as a cautionary tale but as a story to tell you that even if you do not fall in line with beauty standards wherever you are, you can, if you so choose, make your own standard by taking care of and presenting your best self. When we think of a beautiful flower we may think of a red rose. However, does that make the calla lily, sunflower, or tulip any less attractive and fragrant? Not only does the beauty of another woman not outshine yours, depending on how you choose to present yourself, your own unique beauty will shine through. Plus I truly think that it is your own thoughts about yourself that shape your outward reality. In short…

You are who you think you are.

While I think health is a very nuanced subject, I find that when a woman thinks highly of herself, she takes care of herself inside and out and it makes her radiant. I’m not going to go into specifics of how one should take care of herself. Y’all know what you’re supposed to be doing (my sister in Christ please put down the triple bacon burger). And if no one told you, I'm here to tell you, it is okay and even expedient to take care of yourself. When a woman exists in the fullness of herself, and makes herself a priority, she will always, in my opinion, be the true standard of beauty. But I can’t want that for you. You have to know who you are and take ownership of how you present yourself, flaws and all. Remember, the woman who thinks she is beautiful, is the most beautiful.