Nancy Reagan was a Hoe and your Momma was too.

Nancy Reagan, conservatives’ favorite first lady. Poised, polished, touting the slogan of “Just say no”, had more in common with your average porn star than with Jackie Kennedy. Yes, you read the title correctly, Nancy Reagan, popularized by becoming first lady, was more popular in her days as Nancy Davis, when she was on her knees at MGM studio. According to American journalist Kitty Kelley, Nancy Reagan “was renowned in Hollywood for performing oral sex. In the days when she was Nancy Davis - was known to give the best blowjob in town. Not only in the evening but in offices. That was one of the reasons that she was very popular on the MGM lot.” Now, while this is all alleged, I tend to believe it. Why? Because it’s the most straight laced people, who tend to have the most loose pasts. Not only that but there is a popular discourse in the cultural zeitgeist about 304s (hoes), mainly Only Fans girls. There are men with microphones (losers) debating such women and their worth in society. Now my theory is that these men are mad that they can only have access to these women via a fee because men always want a free lunch. But nevertheless, a very important part of this topic is…

The Hoe to Housewife discourse. 

There’s this whole notion in the culture that you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife. Men want a pure or pure-ish woman who doesn’t have a bad reputation. Women who have any sort of past that may deem them as a hoe in the man’s eye are not worthy of marriage (as if that’s some accomplishment). It’s essentially a function of the Madonna Whore Complex. Which is a complex in which mostly heterosexual males place women into one of two categories, the “Madonna”, a woman who is pure, nurturing and virtuous, or the “Whore” , a woman seen as overly sexual and promiscuous. And men claim that they only wife the Madonnas. However, there is a flaw in the logic because…”Hoes” get married every single day. Since it’s still technically black history month, let’s talk about Robert F. Smith, a billionaire philanthropist, who happens to be black. Do you want to guess who he’s married to? A former Playboy Bunny, who was named playmate of the month. Now, another example, Anna Nicole Smith met her older billionaire oil tycoon while she was actively working at the strip club. Cardi B., a rapper and former prolific stripper, married. Erika Jayne, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, also met her millionaire ex-husband while she was a dancer. Nene Leakes former Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member met her rich now deceased husband while she was what? Dancing in the strip club. Mia Khalifa has even been married…twice! I’ll even use myself as an example. I’m your regular, everyday woman, who was a sugar baby in my early twenties (not to be confused with escorting but we are in the same family), I was also a phone sex operator. So yea, I was a 304. And guess what? I’m a housewife. I even know many other former, or practicing sex workers who are married. So this whole so-called “hoes” being unwifeable isn’t holding up. Notice how I noted the status of the men who married these women as well. Because these podcast conversations surrounding these sorts of women are usually involving poor, or low value men. The very men that they claim these women are. Now again, marriage isn’t an achievement and I can’t speak to the quality of the marriages talked about above (except for mine, it’s quite great). However, it is something that the wider culture tries to shame women out of living their lives with. And you want to know why such women are getting wifed? Because…

Men love hoes. 

Yea, I said it.

When Kanye West said in his song Runaway “I could have me a good girl and still be addicted to them hood-rats.” He was speaking for and to many men. And the thing about it is…men love women that other men love. They claim they want a woman who is untouchable but quiet as it’s kept, they really want the woman who is desired by other men because in their eyes if they get said woman, it will raise their status because they got that woman that every man wants. Furthermore, men will marry, or get into a relationship with a “good woman” and then cheat on her with the same type of woman he claims he doesn’t want her to be like. Just look at the average man’s social media following (all the good men barely have social media though). All through there he will have the popular instagram “baddies”, Only Fans girls, and women who would otherwise be considered hoes. I have yet to meet a man (excluding the ones who barely use social media) who doesn’t follow a bunch of beautiful scantily clad women. I even saw this instagram reel (I can’t find it so I can’t link it) where this man is crying about wanting a good christian girl that he can wife up, but when you go to who he is following, it’s literally mostly IG models and OF models. And see, ladies, this is the type of game men will try to run on you. They will get into a relationship with you and tell YOU to cover up, don’t act a certain way, and be like the Madonna archetype but will secretly (or out loud) want the whore archetype. These men want to un-bad-bitch you because they are afraid you may be desired by other men because said man desires other women. And I may go for it but I'm not falling for it. That’s exactly why I never changed my behavior, or how I dressed when I got with a man. Because nah, don’t backtrack now muf*kah, you knew what it was when we got together. When you approached me I was wearing that same crop top and mini skirt combo, with the six inch heels. 

Men will also know that they need money to access hoes but the “good girls” they can get for free. Which is why as I stated above men resent hoes, and I mean real hoes because they know they can’t even breathe next to those types of women without paying. The crazy thing is, and this is just an aside, but the REAL hoes, the women who open their legs from the east coast to the west coast, are the “good girls”. Good girls will give it up for free because you told them you loved them, or said some pretty words, or bought them a meal. The women many people consider hoes usually keep them legs closed until you can prove yourself worthy as a man (or give them a reasonable amount of money). But I heavily digress. Why do y’all think so many men are at the strip club? Ain’t got a place to live, won’t take care of their kids, ain’t got no money for the woman they're actually with, but will blow hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars on strippers. There are even men who get off on financially being “drained” by hoes. These men are called “Pay pigs” and will literally risk their homes, marriages, and families just to give hoes money. So it’s always funny to me when vanilla women think they have a one up on 304s because…

There is NO prize in being the good girl. 

Actually, let me be clear. There is NO prize in being what a man wants… Unless you’re trying to scam them. Even though a few years ago, I ran a dating service for women, I will be the first one to say f*ck these men. I ain’t never cared and I ain’t never scared. I found out very early in life that being the good girl will get you nowhere fast. Now, I am a supporter of women, all women (not pick-me’s), so if you’re naturally just one of those girls who is lowkey, genuinely the Madonna archetype and thrive and revel in that. Do you! I’m not here to judge nobody, y’all not on trial! However, if you’re doing it because you want to be seen in a certain light by men and society, you are sadly wasting your time. What women naturally possess is a powerful sexual allure that drives men literally insane. And society as a whole is afraid of that power. Why do you think women are relegated to property status via marriage, and patrilineal asset inheritance? It’s not that we as women are too weak, or emotional, or not smart enough, it’s because men know we can control them with the goldmine that’s between our legs. I’m not going to get too much into that but you can read my article on the power of the feminine. The women who want to play the good girl, even if that’s not really who they are, want men, or even society to think they are wifeable. But let’s look at the average marriage these women get into. When the average woman gets married, she takes on more housework than her single counterparts, single women also live longer and are generally happier than their married peers. So I have to ask these women who just need male approval and think that marriage is the end all be all and use it to put themselves on a higher pedestal, what are you getting out of it? Because research  shows…it ain't much. And again, I'm married myself however, I don’t think there is any real prize in it and honestly, I’m benefitting as much as my husband is. In the end, the good girls get what? At best married to some mediocre man, and at worst, a wet butt and a dry purse (it don’t match). 

Anyway…

This once again turned into a little rant but sometimes I just am in that mood. What’s crazy about all this hoe talk is…these same people talking sh*t had mommas, or grandmommas, that would be considered hoes. How many different dads do you and your siblings have? If your mother was a single mom, have you been introduced to different men growing up? Did your mom or grandma have “male friends” you saw periodically? Yea. And I am not shaming these hypothetical women at all, it’s quite the opposite. I do not consider anything these women have done or are doing shameful but the larger society does. What people like to ignore is that surprise, surprise, women have AUTONOMY. Before your mother was a mother and possibly a wife she was a woman. And women date, have sex, experience life, and sometimes do crazy things. Women are just human beings, we are not Madonna’s and we are not always Whores. We are complex people with our own thoughts, motives, ideas, dreams, realities, and life experiences. I also hope that my readers are smart enough to understand that I am not necessarily advocating for hoe behavior either, but simply stating that you do not have to be defined by your past. Life is what you make it and you can either be ashamed, or make it work. So next time you think about judging a woman, especially a young woman for doing what you consider the “wrong thing” just know, she might be first lady one day.